allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
