He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So vagazzling was a success
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
