you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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