you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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