Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
