I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize