i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
