Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
