i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
