Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
