Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize