There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
