Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
