I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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