She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
