I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize
