End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
