i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize