i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
