I bet he comes in French.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
