He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
