I will die if light touches me.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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