I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
