Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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