out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My penis needs a shock collar
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Randomize
