I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
