K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
