haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
