why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
