Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
