My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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