Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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