i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize