if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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