weddingsv make me drug and hornr
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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