Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
