I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
