Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
