I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
be right there i have to get my cape
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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