shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
