is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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