so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
where are you?
Hypothermia
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
