coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
