Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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