I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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