Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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