you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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