i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
