my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My life is pants optional.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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