Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
