I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
