Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Your dad touched me again.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's official drugs can't kill me
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
