I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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