She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
