hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
