His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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