dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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