it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize