Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
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