So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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