why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
